Friday, January 29, 2010
Fake It ‘Til You Make It
The other day I had an interesting conversation with a friend that happens to be a client, about faking financial prosperity. My friend, for the sake of privacy, we'll refer to him as "Mr. P" told me that he has a different opinion on the subject and that he wanted to call in and voice his concerns when he heard me talk about it on my radio show. For those of you who are new to me and my world, Lynda, my sister in law and I have a financial talk radio show called "Understanding Money"; it airs live, every Saturday morning from 8am-9am. Visit our website www.newundergroundrailroad.com for more information. In Mr. P's view, he felt that I came down pretty hard on people who practice this superficial life style. For those of you who didn't have the pleasure of hearing the show, I'll recap what I said, then, we'll discuss his view on the subject. I said it then and I'll say it again: "Faking ones financial status by showing off obvious signs of luxury like expensive clothes, fancy cars and bling-bling jewelry, even though you can't (credit cards) afford them, is a clear sign that you lack financial responsibility." Honestly, it really does very little for the people that you love and care about. It only conjures up feelings of envy or secret resentment. In fact, the practice has been the cause of many failed marriages and broken relationships. To fake is to lie. Faking is a way to conceal the defects of or to make you appear more attractive than you, yourself, feel you are. Which is better? To appear to be rich, or to be rich? Well, "Mr. P" said that sometimes "faking it 'til you make it" may be all that, that person has. He said sometimes a person's self esteem is so low, that material luxuries is the only thing that will instantly lift them up. He said if you can't be rich, you might as well look rich. My response to that is, If you spend your time and money trying to appear to be rich, where in the world, are you going to get the money to invest properly, so one day you will become rich?. People who adopt the "fake it till you make it" superficial way of life tend to focus on short term happiness, while unconsciously building a life of long term poverty. Listen, let's not kid ourselves, we all know someone who looks like "glitter", but if you dig deep, there's no gold. Don't get it twisted. Faking it is not the same thing as positive thinking or visualizing the things that you want (these are mind exercises), neither is faking it, positive affirmations, it's just lying. Trust me, the things that you do and how you carry yourself, have a profound effect on all of the people that you encounter (your neighbors, your community) rather you know them or not. Faking it is one of the major reasons why so many people can't seem to get ahead generation after generation. The sum of money might be one problem, but how money is used is a much bigger problem. Say what you want and do what you want with your money, but seeing a first year school teacher (single and not rich) drive up in a 500 series Benz, doesn't say "you've made it" actually it says you're living beyond your means. The other day, my 21 year old son told me how his 21 year old friend "Jose" (spanish kid), just purchased a new 750 series BMW and how everybody's ooh and aahing him. Never mind the fact that "Jose" works at a Kiosk (a booth) in the middle of a shopping mall. My son said "Jose" was bragging and talking big about all the new found attention he was receiving after buying his new depleting asset, which is costing him $1200 per month. This is the same kid who, a few months ago backed out of sharing an apartment with my son because his father told him, he should wait until he paid off his old car (2007 Camry) before taking on the expense of an apartment. So now, the kid remains home with Mama and Papa, with a wasting asset in the drive way to impress the neighbors. Get this, "Tony"(white kid), another one of my son's 21 year old friends was so envious, that went out and purchased a white brand spanking new (with fancy rims) 750 BMW also. As you can see, this "fake it 'til you make it" stuff crosses all ethnic lines. As for my son, he's out looking for an apartment right now; a cow would have to jump over the moon before he tries something like that while he's under my roof.
"To fake it is to stand guard over emptiness"-Arthur Herzog
What do you all think?
Robert
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Fake it till you make it. Rob, Do you know I have even heard some Pastors say that non-sense. I know what the problem is – They have bumped their hard too many times so their thought process has gone in the wrong direction.
ReplyDeleteNo disrespect to Mr. P. I don’t know him. I am going to write only dealing with the issue: Fake it till you make it. I also heard someone I know say this to me People like to see her look good and that makes them have a chance of life; almost something similar to what Mr. P is saying so this is not nothing new. I can see where Mr. P is coming from but yall that’s crazy.
This generation needs to know how to grind, work hard, and realize that the bling bling is not priority. I really sympathize with the person walking around being flashy who don’t have it. As a Realtor, I have seen many of my clients wear their lifesavings on their back because they are faking it till they make it. Not only that the sad part about it; it’s a trickle down theory and their kids follow the same pattern.
Faking it till you make it – Yall I am begging us we gotta get over that. When Mr. P made the comment about that may be all the person has but the sad part about it that’s nothing and at the end of the day it’s still going to be NOTHING. They are fooling themselves and what they are in is called People’s Bondage and we try so hard to please others when most times the people we try to please don’t like us anyway but we go all out our way to fake it with them.
In my opinion, we are really not doing it for ourselves because why do we have to fake and fool ourselves. That means I like lying to me. We look in the mirror everyday and not only that we look in our wallets everyday. If you don’t have a savings account, investment, or a six month emergency fund (minimum), and you are one who is faking it till you make it. STOP RIGHT NOW TODAY..It’s still time for you to have a new year’s resolution. January is not up until Sunday. Cut that out…Fake it being broke – if you do you might get people to give you some money. But when you are faking it like you got it going on, nobody is going to try and help you. But on a serious note, don’t fake it be yourself and build on your wealth even if it’s a slow pace. It’s time we take our finances serious. Every time I listen to Rob and Lynda, I still get a kick in my backside but I can tell you this they have helped my thought process go through a whole new level with life.
In closing, discussing the 21 year old children with the BMW’s, I won’t even comment – That’s a blog by itself. And this is your blog, Rob; not mine.
I wanted to agree with Mr. P at first but I think what he was trying to say and have I felt are different. I think he wanted to give people the idea that he was doing something and I instead wanted to say, that you're suppose to do whatever you have to in order to "make it." In this bling bling generation we live in, it's all about keeping up and surpassing the Jones' and if you can't you act like you have. The sad thing is that so many of us are worried about the gains of today that we can't see the growths of tomorrow. We block our own blessings as we try to "get rich quick." For all the schemes and plans I've heard about in which people were going to be rich soon or had the ultimate plan, I rarely if at all have seen these schemes truly produce. Sad but true...
ReplyDeleteFake it to you make it, HuH?
ReplyDeleteIn all fairness to Mr. P, I think he has more sense then it seems. He clearly told you that he started to call the radio station to voice his opinion? Mr. P understands the Proverb that even a fool seems intelligent when he keeps his mouth shut! So he chose not to call :-) but speak to you behind close doors. Mr. P knew deep down inside that his thinking was a little off but sometime in life, it's hard for some of us to lead then follow.
I realize we live in a society where keeping up with the Jones' is what's happening. The problem with this, the Jones' don't exist! The Jones' knew they couldn't continue to fake it (LIE) so they had to give it up.
PS
Tell Jose that him and his parents are gone with the wind!